Dreams

Even though I went to college, graduated, and started a career as a teacher. Even got a job teaching the level I had always wanted to teach and I think I'm even pretty good at my job. It's not my dream. I always dreamt of being a housewife/stay at home mom. I want to be the mom who bakes cookies on a Tuesday just because. I want to volunteer at my kids school and be in the PTO. I want to have dinner ready for my husband when he gets home. You know, the cliche all American life. That's what I dreamt of. I hate that because of something as stupid as money, it's not possible. I find myself so jealous of stay at home moms. It's my dream job. And it's not one you can buff up your resume and interview for. You can only get that job if you already had enough money to make it work. I don't need much. I don't shop like a lot of women do. I don't get my hair done, or do anything extravagant. I'd love to do those things, of course. Who wouldn't? But it's not the life style I've ever had. My husband doesn't do fancy things either. But this isn't about spending habits. It's about a life that should be attainable. My husband and I both wish I could stay home with Owen. Let's be honest...he wants dinner ready when he gets home too. He works hard, he's a great teacher. When will teachers be respected enough to get paid a salary that could support a family? There are so so many things wrong with this. 

I've cried (and I'm not usually a crier) so much just because I don't get to stay home with him. The last day of my maternity leave is tomorrow. I'm devistated.