2 and a half hours

Some times 3 hours. It depends on how fast I can get the hell out of work.

So from 5:00(or 4:30) to 7:30 I get to spend time with Owen. It's not enough. It's not fair. I'm not getting used to it. When I put him to bed tonight he wrapped his arms around my neck and snuggled into my neck and just hummed. When he got quiet I put him down in his crib like I do every night. Wide awake but sleepy. But tonight, he threw his giraffe wubbanub to the side and reached up for me and cried. I immediately lifted him up and hugged him. He sat back in my arms and pointed to his rocking chair. That's our new thing. We rock in his chair every night and hum songs together. Tonight he needed more rocking and more snuggling. I can't say no to that because 2 and a half hours a night is not enough.

Migraines

It was about 8:30am. My head was pounding with a familiar sharp aching pain. My face was clammy, my hands were hot, I had chills; I was about to throw up. I quickly shouted for the teacher next door to check on my class. I said nothing to my students. I walked as fast as I could to the 1 stall teacher bathroom down the hall and got there just in time.

Migraines are no joke. The pain is so severe it causes me to become physically sick. I felt the same nausea when I was in labor with Owen. That's how bad the pain is.

About 6 years ago I was diagnosed with chronic migraines. Two years ago I missed 6 days of school due to migraines. That's when they were the worst. I've tried all kinds of preventative drugs: blood pressure meds, anti depressants, muscle relaxers, pain killers, vitamins, and of course I've tried headache diets (no cheese, caffeine, chocolate, or preservatives). Nothing worked. Imitrex works when I have a bad one sometimes. But it has a lot of dosage restrictions and is expensive. When I got pregnant with Owen I had awful headaches toward the end of my 1st trimester. And then they stopped. For the first time in years I had no headache for days...months! It was great. I remember waking up some mornings thinking that I felt high I felt so great. After Owen was born and my hormones were regulating to a non pregnant state, I had headaches again. Not to the point if vomiting. But head throbbing, skull cracking pain. I feared they were back to stay.

In the last year my headaches have had a presence, but have been nothing like what I experienced in past years. Until today. Today I felt the embarrassment of looking and feeling like a hangover. I barely made it home without pulling over. I quickly found my anti nausea meds, changed into yoga pants, and slept for 4 hours. I woke up feeling beaten and stiff, but better. I still have a headache, but I can manage a headache. It's not a migraine. I couldn't type this if I still had migraine. 

I'm about to crawl back in bed. I hope this pain will be gone in the morning.