Pain and Sleepiness

Owen seems to be having gas issues, poor little man is in obvious pain. I can hear the bubbles in his tummy. I went out and bought Colic Calm gripe water after reading and reading and reading tons of stuff online. I gave him a dose yesterday around 3...and he slept until 6:30! Holy jackpot! He was finally able to relax, rest, and umm...toot. I hadn't seen him sleep so deeply in days. Sadly, though I didn't get to take advantage of his long nap and take my own nap because we had guests over to watch football. (Obviously not my shindig) As much as I was dreading having a house full of people, it was nice to have a few hours of normalcy while Owen slept in his Granna's arms for his entire nap. I was only slightly jealous. (lie) I've never wanted to sleep so badly in my life. It's not that we don't get any sleep at all. We just only get 2-3 hours at a time. You know the feeling when you wake up and it feels like only milliseconds have passed...it's like that. So the sleep we are getting isn't restful.

I know, I know...everyone tells us, "it gets better". I know it will eventually. I don't know any kids or adults who wake up crying because they have gas. But, we're living it now! And right now, it kinda sucks. Owen is still a little miracle, and we still love him. We just don't like being awake at 12, 3, 4:30, 6...you get the idea.

Classroom check up: haven't talked to anyone at work yet, and I'm not even worried about it. I still don't want to go back. Not at all.

Week 1- Just me and O

Monday- it started out very sleepy. I stayed up until almost 1:00 trying (unsuccessfully because he was asleep) to feed Owen so that he'd only wake up once during the night before the husbands alarm clock. He woke up at 2:45, 6:00, 8:30, and 11:00. So at least daddy got some good sleep. I think I'm doing pretty well. I've got a new recipe in the crockpot for dinner and I completed 1 sewing project from my do to list. The red beans smell amazing!

Tuesday-the power went out around 7am. So I sit here in the very dim, window lit room feeding Owen by the glow of my cell phone. Oncor says the power should be on by 9. Good reason for a morning nap if you ask me. I can't cook, sew, or shower without electricity. The power came back on, and I had to get on with my day and chores. Owen got plenty of snuggles. We went to my in laws house for dinner. And I almost fell asleep on their couch.

Wednesday-Owen decided he's now a morning person and had his big blue eyes open wide at 6:30am. So we ate breakfast with daddy... Or really I just ate half of his breakfast. He was nice enough to share. Owen sort of slept some more on and off. I think he's having a growth spurt. He is starving every 2 hours to the point of tears and frustration. We went to Hobby Lobby in between feedings (my first outing alone with him!) and got some frames and fabric for some projects. When we got home I fed Owen and myself and we both passed out on the couch for 2 hours! For dinner we got a yummy enchilada casserole from our friends Hilari and Nick-the ones we lived with for 3 weeks. I guess they still like us HAHA.

Thursday-all I can say about today is that I showered before 9AM, and took Owen to the grocery store. Whoa. Just call me Wonder Woman. I also recovered our headboard with the fancy fabric I got yesterday, and started our laundry. Who wants to fold clothes when I can cuddle a widdle baby? Right now he's sleeping on me, and I'm watching the slightly boring premier or Grey's Anatomy....maybe I'm just distracted?

Friday-Owen was again wide awake at 6AM. Which is fine, but now it's 2:20 and he is still awake and refusing to do anything but nurse or be held with his wubbanub paci. We have plans tonight for the husbands birthday so a shower today was mandatory. I put him in his crib and took the worlds fastest shower, and he cried the whole 3 minutes. He was so fussy/mad/gassy all day and never took a nap. He stayed awake until around 8 or 9pm. Not kidding. So unfortunately I had to cancel our plans we had for dinner because Owen was supposed to come with us. There was no way I was bringing him to a restaurant. He'd been crying all day, I may have done a little crying of my own and I just couldn't do it. But, I'm assuming that this is parenthood...canceling fun plans because your kid has taken over. However, since he's been born, the husband and I have not hardly had any time alone with our new addition.

Super Nonni :) My Mom

My parents live 5 hours away. When I moved to Arlington after high school, being 5 hours away from my parents seemed like the greatest thing EVER! Now, 9 years later I've made a life in DFW and having my family so far is really hard. Especially when it comes time for big events like holidays, my wedding, buying our house, being pregnant, and the arrival of Owen. I needed my family here. My mom has a job that allows her to save up a crazy amount of vacation time. She has spent the last 2 full weeks here with me and Owen. The husband stayed home for the first week with us too. It has been great! I really am a first timer when it comes to babies. In the last 2 weeks I've basically spent all day everyday doing something for the first time. Everything from changing a diaper to pushing a stroller...I'd never done it before Owen. Luckily Owen has no idea.

My mom is known as a "busy body". She is extremely efficient. She has done so much laundry, cooking, and cleaning, and all while teaching me how to do all the mommy things. She has made these first 2 weeks as a first time mom so easy. I've had breakfast in bed, gourmet dinners, folded laundry, and help in ways that I can't explain. If it weren't for her being here, the husband and I would have suffered from greasy take out, tears from exhaustion, and we would probably be out of clean underwear.

I'm so glad she was able to come here and spend time with her first grand baby in his first 2 weeks of life. I know he'll never remember it, but I will.

She has to take the 5 hour drive home tomorrow, and then we'll slowly run out of her delicious leftovers and clean underwear. But we'll survive. And hopefully Owen will survive his first bath alone without his Nonni.

Thank you Mom!

Never Ever Leaving

I need to figure out how I'm going to be a stay at home mom.

I'm already devastated that a week of my maternity leave is over. There is no way I can go back to work. So my project over these next 10 weeks will be to figure out a serious budget! I can work park time. But no way Jose can I work full time right now. It's true what I've been told, he'll only be this age once. And I do not want to miss it.

I never thought I'd like breastfeeding. It always kind of creeped me out. I even love breastfeeding. It's one of my new favorite things to do. I love that my body can still nourish him even now that he's outside of my body.

There are so many things people do to make money these days. I'm a college educated woman, I'm sure I'll figure something out. I can always be a substitute teacher if I have to. 

Owens Cool Arrival

The story goes like this...

It was a hot September Sunday. I was sad when I set my 5:45 alarm clock to go to work the next morning. I was over teaching kindergarten while being so pregnant. My parents had come in town Saturday morning because Owen was supposed to come any day and they wanted to be here when it happened. Last week the doctor said "I'd be surprised if you made it a week" so we were all ready, and waiting. I really wanted and needed my parents to be here for it. I couldn't imagine it happening without them close by. Just so happens that my sister is here too!

I spent Sunday like most Sundays. I did laundry, I did chores, went grocery shopping. My mom helped me make 3 casseroles to freeze for when Owen is here. Busy busy day. So after setting my alarm I was exhausted and went to sleep. Around 3:15 or so I woke up to a strange sensation. Like I peed in my sleep. I stood up, nope the bed was dry. Maybe a weird dream? I went to the bathroom to pee for real. I was walking back to bed when I noticed...I was leaking. Is this for real? I paced the bathroom, trying to decide if it was real. And then a small gush...yes this is real. My water broke at 3:30 in the morning in the middle of the night...like in a movie. I went to wake up The Husband. He thought I was waking him up for work...until I started laughing, told him I was leaking and then he witnessed the leaking. I ran to the shower and then GUSH. Wow yes, there's a lot of "water" in there. I wasn't having contractions so we took our time getting ready to go. I put on my makeup, The Husband took a shower. He packed his bag, some snacks, and we were off. I had woken my parents up too and they were not far behind us. We got to the hospital around 4:30 or so. They checked me out and I was 3.5 cm dilated. The contractions were getting more serious. They came out of nowhere. I went from having no contractions at all to having 1 every 1-2 minutes. The people in triage seemed to be moving so slow because I was in such sudden pain. We filled out the paperwork and they got us settled into the room where I would labor and deliver. They set up the monitor on my belly and asked a million questions. The contractions were getting worse. I started getting really nauseous from the pain. Then they had to set up my IV. I've always had bad luck with IVs, and 5 attempts later, I had an IV. Then I got some much needed antinausea medicine. Then they asked about an epidural. I've never been against pain medicine, I just knew I didn't want any pitocin or labor inducing interventions. So they told me that I had until 6:30 to decided on an epidural. That gave me about 45 minutes to decided if I wanted it now or later. Later being around 8:00. As soon as the nurse left the room I knew I couldn't wait. The contractions were literally coming one right after the other. They were so intense that I knew I wouldn't enjoy the delivery if I was in pain like that. So the epidural was ordered. Getting an epidural is scary enough, but getting one while having contractions seems impossible. They were telling me to stay as still as possible, lean forward, shoulders down, round your back, breath, stop moving! I'm not scared of needles but I'm really glad I didn't see that needle. I leaned on to the husband with my feet in his lap, I tried to stay as still as possible as while shaking uncontrollably. It was done, the needle went in, came out, and slowly (too slowly) the pain started to fade. The nurse checked my cervix. She looked me right in the face and said "Oh! Ok, you're at a ten, its time to push. By this time it was maybe 7:30. After that people started moving much faster. Someone came in and set up a delivery table with all sorts of tools, and shiny metal things. Nurses checked my monitors again and again. My doctor was on her way, but it was time to start pushing anyways. Nicolette (my nurse) coached the husband on how to hold my leg back to help me push. I don't think either of us thought he'd be helping like that. I'm so glad he did, I think it made the delivery more real for both of us. So it was just me pushing, the husband holding my left leg, Nicolette holding my right leg, and no one else. I don't know why I'd always pictured a half dozen people in the room. All dressed in scrubs and masks. Movies I guess. So the 3 of us pushed for about 10 minutes and then Dr. Velez came in. She sat on the side of my bed and I continued pushing. The poor husband was seeing WAY more than he had planned. He kept telling me to breath! Just breath! But I was...he wasn't. So then we all had to tell him to breath and relax. And then we laughed at him a little. So, in the middle of the miracle of life, we were cracking jokes. It just seemed so calm and easy. I felt amazing. (Thank you epidural) it was nothing like all the blogs and horror stories I'd heard. It was awesome. So a short 20-30 minutes later, Owen was laying on my chest all covered in that white goop just staring at me. He didnt cry, he coughed a little and just looked around. It was the most amazing thing. I got to feel the cord pulsating before they cut it. The life line that had given Owen everything needed for 38 weeks in my belly. Another amazing moment. Daddy cut the cord, and all I remember is starring at him. Just looking at every tiny detail. He was born at 8:19, less than 5 hours after my water broke. He was 6.47 lbs and 18 inches long. He has fuzzy dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. He is awesome.

"One week"

I had an appointment on Friday. My doctor told me that I maybe had 3 weeks, but probably less. Well this morning she changed her mind and says that I *might* make it through ONE more week.

Whaaaat?! Oh my goodness. Yes we have everything we need for him. No I don't think I'll ever be ready. Just like when people tell you if you wait until you're ready to start trying to get pregnant...you'll never do it. If it were up to me he'd come on a certain day and time. And I'd know when. Unlikely.

Over the Labor Day weekend we finished his room. We think it looks awesome. I'm slightly obsessed :-)

I got my craft on pretty hard. I made the pillow, the crib skirt, the blanket, mom made the curtains, and I framed one of my brothers baby outfits. And look how cool these shelves turned out!

Owens nursery is THE only room in our house that is decorated and/or finished. But I'm ok with that. I'm ok with the fact that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and possibly Christmas will not be decorated to my likings in our home. I should probably decorate in general first. Whatever. Don't judge my undecorated-half-empty house.

So back to my ONE WEEK LEFT topic. After my appointment this morning I had to go to work. But I was having trouble getting there. It just feels wrong to spend my last childless moments in a classroom full of crazy kindergarteners. I stopped at Starbucks and sat alone in the quiet and drank coffee and ate a delicious muffin by myself. Do moms get to do that kinda thing? I have no clue. I'm guessing no. You see...Sunday, I had an afternoon of darkness. I couldn't shake the negative thoughts. What if I don't like motherhood? What if my husband forgets about me? What if I can't do it all? What if it's just too hard and blah blah blah. I'm worried. That's normal right? I'm worried about everything! I've emerged from the darkness and gotten back to my it-is-what-it-is attitude. I can only plan so much, some things are just out of my hands. But Owen is not allowed to come on Saturday. Because my doctor will be in Waco for a Baylor game. Any other day is fine.