Don't be THAT mom...

Breastfeeding is a tricky topic. Some people think it's gross, only for newborns, only for poor people, a good idea but unrealistic, too hard to be worth it, and definitely something that stops the minute your baby turns 1.

Well, I once thought breastfeeding was strange. Before I got pregnant I'd say I would pump milk, but the whole baby-to-boob thing freaked me out. And if you let yourself think about it too long, it is a little freaky. Boobs are sexualized and the fact they they also serve a nutritional purpose is often forgotten. Or maybe not forgotten, but just hard to think about. I know some women have no problem breastfeeding in public places without a cover. They get a bad rep. People think they're trying to prove something. I mean legally they are allowed. So they're proving that they can abide by the law and feed their baby the way nature intended. Now, I don't go around with my boobs flopping about showing everyone what a great latch my baby has. No. I cover up. I go to another room. I feed my kid. I nurse in public too. I've nursed in restaurants, parks, even sitting in a lounge chair in the Guadalupe River. I don't do it to prove anything. I do it because that's how my son eats. He will be 11 months soon and he's showing no signs of stopping either. He still nurses 6-7 times a day. And would you believe?...lots of people have opinions about it...

"He can have regular milk now" (is my milk irregular?)

"You're not going to be one of THOSE moms are you?" (What?...)

"Don't be THAT mom." (That mom that feeds her child?)

"He doesn't need your milk after he's 1."(But, he needs milk from another mammal?)

"If he's hungry, give him a snack."(I doubt goldfish have the same nutritional value.)

"Won't you be glad when that's all over with." (No, but YOU will.)

I have answers to all of this. For one; no, I do not plan on being the mom you saw on the cover of People or Time (whichever it was). I do not plan to breastfeed when my son is in grade school. But, that is literally years from now. He's not even 1 yet, not even walking yet! Why do I need to take away something he needs? Yes...needs. And why, would I give him another animals milk when I have human milk, made for humans? No other animal does that. Would you feed a cow some milk from a lactating monkey? Would you drink monkey milk? ...seriously. Think about it.

Yes I drink cows milk, and enjoy dairy. But, I don't drink it and think, "hey, this is the equivalent to drinking breastmilk." No, nothing is equal to breastmilk. No formula or other animal milk will ever live up to what breastmilk does for babies. Ever!

Owen has (thankfully) never been sick and I have to believe it's because of my milk. So, Owen will get my freshly made human milk until further notice. Maybe it will be a year, maybe longer, maybe 2 years. I can't really answer that question right now.

Obviously yes, I will be happy when I no longer have to stay up until 11:00 every night to pump just a few more precious ounces before bed to add to my growing stockpile of 200+ ounces.

It will be nice when I can eat lunch with coworkers instead of hiding and pumping while eating one handed all alone. Of course! But, I'll do it as long as Owen wants me to...happily.

"I'm a teacher."

Owen is crying right now, this whole "cry it out" thing is hard. He just wants to be held. He'll be fast asleep and as soon as I lay him in his bed he screams and reaches out his little hands for me. It's so sad. He doesn't do this every night and he only cries for about 10 minutes. But I can't hold him all night long, I've tried.

School has been out for summer for a couple of weeks now. The husband is working 4 days a week for his parents real estate business for some side money. Someone give that man a high five, a hug, a beer...something to thank him for doing what he's doing for us. A couple of months ago the decision was made that I would continue working part time as a sub for next school year so I could be with Owen. I stopped applying for teaching jobs and focused on my little side gig of making and selling wreaths. I put the idea of teaching out of my mind.

Quitting your job is scary. Living pay check to pay check is hard. But being a new parent brings challenges that make everything else...different. When I packed up my classroom just 6 months ago I knew I'd return to teaching. I just didnt know when or where. I just knew I had to leave where I was to be home. So I dumped my boxes of classroom stuff in the garage and haven't touched it since.

So when we decided that I would stay home next year. I felt the pressure of job searching fade away. I finally felt like I was  "allowed" to do what I was already doing. Like I had been given permission. That's when I started to feel guilty, or irresponsible...or something. And then I learned about job openings at my friends school that she loves, and I knew I had to apply. I have to go back to work. For many reasons. So I applied on a Friday, interviewed on Tuesday, and was hired on the following Friday. I accepted.

I am a teacher. Starting in the fall, I'll be back in a classroom of my own with 20 eager kindergarteners at Arlington Classics Academy.

Owen will be going to some sort of daycare for 2 days a week and spending the other days at home with his Granna. I accepted the job, but I have not accepted this part yet.