"I'm a teacher."

Owen is crying right now, this whole "cry it out" thing is hard. He just wants to be held. He'll be fast asleep and as soon as I lay him in his bed he screams and reaches out his little hands for me. It's so sad. He doesn't do this every night and he only cries for about 10 minutes. But I can't hold him all night long, I've tried.

School has been out for summer for a couple of weeks now. The husband is working 4 days a week for his parents real estate business for some side money. Someone give that man a high five, a hug, a beer...something to thank him for doing what he's doing for us. A couple of months ago the decision was made that I would continue working part time as a sub for next school year so I could be with Owen. I stopped applying for teaching jobs and focused on my little side gig of making and selling wreaths. I put the idea of teaching out of my mind.

Quitting your job is scary. Living pay check to pay check is hard. But being a new parent brings challenges that make everything else...different. When I packed up my classroom just 6 months ago I knew I'd return to teaching. I just didnt know when or where. I just knew I had to leave where I was to be home. So I dumped my boxes of classroom stuff in the garage and haven't touched it since.

So when we decided that I would stay home next year. I felt the pressure of job searching fade away. I finally felt like I was  "allowed" to do what I was already doing. Like I had been given permission. That's when I started to feel guilty, or irresponsible...or something. And then I learned about job openings at my friends school that she loves, and I knew I had to apply. I have to go back to work. For many reasons. So I applied on a Friday, interviewed on Tuesday, and was hired on the following Friday. I accepted.

I am a teacher. Starting in the fall, I'll be back in a classroom of my own with 20 eager kindergarteners at Arlington Classics Academy.

Owen will be going to some sort of daycare for 2 days a week and spending the other days at home with his Granna. I accepted the job, but I have not accepted this part yet.