"One week"

I had an appointment on Friday. My doctor told me that I maybe had 3 weeks, but probably less. Well this morning she changed her mind and says that I *might* make it through ONE more week.

Whaaaat?! Oh my goodness. Yes we have everything we need for him. No I don't think I'll ever be ready. Just like when people tell you if you wait until you're ready to start trying to get pregnant...you'll never do it. If it were up to me he'd come on a certain day and time. And I'd know when. Unlikely.

Over the Labor Day weekend we finished his room. We think it looks awesome. I'm slightly obsessed :-)

I got my craft on pretty hard. I made the pillow, the crib skirt, the blanket, mom made the curtains, and I framed one of my brothers baby outfits. And look how cool these shelves turned out!

Owens nursery is THE only room in our house that is decorated and/or finished. But I'm ok with that. I'm ok with the fact that Halloween, Thanksgiving, and possibly Christmas will not be decorated to my likings in our home. I should probably decorate in general first. Whatever. Don't judge my undecorated-half-empty house.

So back to my ONE WEEK LEFT topic. After my appointment this morning I had to go to work. But I was having trouble getting there. It just feels wrong to spend my last childless moments in a classroom full of crazy kindergarteners. I stopped at Starbucks and sat alone in the quiet and drank coffee and ate a delicious muffin by myself. Do moms get to do that kinda thing? I have no clue. I'm guessing no. You see...Sunday, I had an afternoon of darkness. I couldn't shake the negative thoughts. What if I don't like motherhood? What if my husband forgets about me? What if I can't do it all? What if it's just too hard and blah blah blah. I'm worried. That's normal right? I'm worried about everything! I've emerged from the darkness and gotten back to my it-is-what-it-is attitude. I can only plan so much, some things are just out of my hands. But Owen is not allowed to come on Saturday. Because my doctor will be in Waco for a Baylor game. Any other day is fine.